The Church Fathers
SAINT AMBROSE
CONCERNING WIDOWS
Translated by the Rev. H. de Romestin,
M.A., of St. John's College, Oxford, and Rector of Tiptree, Essex, with the assistance of
the Rev. E. de Romestin, M.A., of New College, Oxford, and the Rev. H. T. F. Duckworth,
M.A., of Merton College, Oxford.
CHAPTER I
After having written about virgins, it
seemed needful to say something concerning widows, since the Apostle joins the two classes
together, and the latter are as it were teachers of the former, and far superior to those
who are married. Elijah was sent to a widow, a great mark of honour; yet widows are not
honourable like her of Sarepta, unless they copy her virtues, notably hospitality. The
avarice of men is rebuked, who forfeit the promises of God by their grasping.
1. Since I have treated of the honour of
virgins in three books, it is fitting now, my brethren, that a treatise concerning widows
should come in order; for I ought not to leave them without honour, nor to separate them
from the commendation belonging to virgins, since the voice of the Apostle has joined them
to virgins, according to what is written: "The unmarried woman and the virgin careth
for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit."(1) For
in a certain manner the inculcation of virginity is strengthened by the example of widows.
They who have preserved their marriage bed undefiled are a testimony to virgins that
chastity is to be preserved for God. And it is almost a mark of no less virtue to abstain
from marriage, which was once a delight, than to remain ignorant of the pleasures of
wedlock. They are strong in each point, in that they regret not wedlock, the faith of
which they keep, and entangle not themselves with wedded pleasures, lest they appear weak
and not able to take care of themselves.
2. But in this particular virtue is
contained also the prizes of liberty. For: "The wife is bound as long as her husband
liveth; but if her husband fall asleep she is freed: let her marry whom she will, only in
the Lord. But she will be happier if she so abide, after my judgment, for I think I also
have the Spirit of God."(1) Evidently, then, the Apostle has expressed the
difference, having said that the one is bound, and stated that the other is happier, and
that he asserts not so much as the result of his own judgment, as of the infusion of the
Spirit of God; that the decision should be seen to be heavenly, not human.
3. And what is the teaching of the fact that
at that time when the whole human race was afflicted by famine and Elias was sent to the
widow?(2) And see how for each is reserved her own special grace. An angel is sent to the
Virgin,(3) a prophet to the widow. Notice, farther, that in one case it is Gabriel, in the
other Elisha. The most excellent chiefs of the number of angels and prophets are seen to
be chosen. But there is no praise simply in widowhood, unless there be added the virtues
of widowhood. For, indeed, there were many widows, but one is preferred to all, in which
fact it is not so much that others are called back from their pursuit as that they are
stimulated by the example of virtue.
4. What is said at first makes the ears
attentive, although the simplicity itself of the understanding has weight to attract
widows to the pattern of virtue; since each seems to excel, not according to her
profession, but her merit, and the grace of hospitality is not lost sight of by God, Who,
as He Himself related in the Gospel, rewards a cup of cold water with the exceeding
recompense of eternity, and compensates the small measure of meal and oil by an unfailing
abundance of plenty ever coming in. For if one of the heathen(4) has said that all the
possessions of friends should be common, how much more ought those of relatives to be
common! For we are relatives who are bound into one body.
5. But we are not bound by any prescribed
limit of hospitality. For why do you think that what is of this world is private property
when this world is common? Or why do you consider the fruits of the earth are private,
when the earth itself is common property? "Behold," He said, "the fowls of
the air, they sow not, neither do they reap."(1) For to those to whom nothing is
private property nothing is wanting, and God, the master of His own word, knows how to
keep His promise. Again, the birds do not gather together, and yet they eat, for our
heavenly Father feeds them. But we turning aside the warnings of a general utterance to
our private advantage, God says: "Every tree which has in it the fruit of a tree
yielding seed shall be to you for meat, and to every beast, and to every bird, and to
everything that creepeth upon the earth."(2) By gathering together we come to want,
and by gathering together we are made empty. For we cannot hope for the promise, who keep
not the saying. It is also good for us to attend to the precept of hospitality, to be
ready to give to strangers, for we, too, are strangers in the world.
6. But how holy was that widow, who, when
pinched by extreme hunger. observed the reverence due to God, and was not using the food
for herself alone, but was dividing it with her son, that she might not outlive her dear
offspring. Great is the duty of affection, but that of religion brings more return. For as
no one ought to be set before her son, so the prophet of God ought to be set before her
son and her preservation. For she is to be believed to have given to him not a little
food, but the whole support of her life, who left nothing for herself. So hospitable was
she that she gave the whole, so full of faith that she believed at once.
CHAPTER II.
The precepts of the Apostle concerning a
widow indeed are laid down, such as, that she bring up children, attend to her parents,
desire to please God, show herself irreproachable, set forth a ripeness of merits, have
been the wife of one man. St. Ambrose notes, however, that a second marriage was not
condemned by St. Paul, and adds that widows must have a good report for virtue with all.
The reasons why younger widows are to be avoided, and what is meant by its being better to
marry than to burn. St. Ambrose then goes on to speak of the dignity of widows, shown by
the fact that any injury done to them is visited by the anger of God.
7. So, then, a widow is not only marked off
by bodily abstinence, but is distinguished by virtue, to whom I do not give commandments,
but the Apostle. I am not the only person to do them honour, but the Doctor of the
Gentiles did so first, when he said: "Honour widows that are widows indeed. But if
any widow have children or nephews, let her first learn to govern her own house, and to
requite her parents."(1) Whence we observe that each inclination of affection ought
to exist in a widow, to love her children and to do her duty to her parents. So when
discharging her duty to her parents she is teaching her children, and is rewarded herself
by her own compliance with duty, in that what she performs for others benefits herself.
8. "For this," says he, "is
acceptable with God." (2) So that if thou, O widow, carest for the things of God,
thou oughtest to follow after that which thou hast learnt to be well pleasing to God. And,
indeed, the Apostle somewhat farther back,(3) exhorting widows to the pursuit of
continence, said that they mind the things of the Lord. But elsewhere, when a widow who is
approved is to be selected, she is bidden not only to bear in mind but also to hope in the
Lord: "For she that is a widow indeed," it is said, "and desolate, must
hope in God, and be instant in supplications and prayers night and day."(4) And not
without reason does he show that these ought to be blameless, to whom, as virtuous works
are enjoined, so, too, great respect is paid, so that they are honoured even by bishops.
9. And of what kind she ought to be who is
chosen the description is given in the words of the teacher himself: "Not less than
threescore years old, having been the wife of one man."(5) Not that old age alone
makes the widow,(6) but that the merits of the widow are the duties of old age. For she
certainly is the more noble who represses the heat of youth, and the impetuous ardour of
youthful age, desiring neither the tenderness of a husband, nor the abundant delights of
children, rather than one who, now worn out in body, cold in age, of ripe years, can
neither grow warm with pleasures, nor hope for offspring.
10. Nor in truth is any one excluded from
the devotion of widowhood, if after entering upon a second marriage, which the precepts of
the Apostle certainly do not condemn as though the fruit of chastity were lost, if she be
again loosed from her husband. She will have, indeed, the merit of her chastity, even if
it be tardy, but she will be more approved who has tried a second marriage, for the desire
of chastity is conspicuous in her, for the other old age or shame seems to have put an end
to marrying.
11. Nor yet is bodily chastity alone the
strong purpose of the widow, but a large and most abundant exercise of virtue. "Well
reported of for good works, if she have brought up children; if she have lodged strangers;
if she have washed the saints' feet; if she have ministered to those suffering
tribulation; if, lastly, she have followed after every good work."(1) You see how
many practices of virtue he has included. He demands, first of all, the duty of piety;
secondly, the practice of hospitality and humble service; thirdly, the ministry of mercy
and liberality in assisting; and, lastly, the performance of every good work.
12. And he, therefore, that the younger
should be avoided,(2) because they are not able to fulfil the requirements of so high a
degree of virtue. For youth is prone to fall because the heat of various desires is
inflamed by the warmth of glowing youth, and it is the part of a good doctor to keep off
the materials of sin. For the first exercise in training the soul is to turn away sin, the
second to implant virtue. Yet, since the Apostle knew that Anna, the widow of fourscore
years, from her youth was a herald of the works of the Lord, I do not think that he
thought that the younger should be excluded from the devotion of widowhood, especially as
he said: "It is better to marry than to burn."(3) For certainly he recommended
marriage as a remedy, that she who would else perish might be saved; he did not prescribe
the choice that one who could contain should not follow chastity, for it is one thing to
succour one who is falling, another to persuade to virtue.
13. And what shall I say of human judgments,
since in the judgments of God the Jews are set forth as having offended the Lord in
nothing more than violating what was due to the widow and the rights of minors? This is
proclaimed by the voices of the prophets as the cause which brought upon the Jews the
penalty of rejection. This is mentioned as the only cause which will mitigate the wrath of
God against their sin. if they honour the widow, and execute true judgment for minors, for
thus we read: "Judge the fatherless, deal justly with the widow, and come let us
reason together, saith the Lord."(1) And elsewhere: "The Lord shall maintain the
orphan and the widow."(2) And again: "I will abundantly bless her
widow."(3) Wherein also the likeness of the Church is foreshadowed. You see, then,
holy widows, that that office which is honoured by the assistance of divine grace must not
be degraded by impure desire.
CHAPTER III.
St. Ambrose returns to the story of the
widow of Sarepta, and shows that she represented the Church, hence that she was an example
to virgins, married women, and widows. Then he refers to the prophet as setting forth
Christ, inasmuch as he foretold the mysteries and the rain which was to come. Next he
touches upon and explains the twofold sign of Gideon, and points out that it is not in
every one's power to work miracles, and that the Incarnation of Christ and the rejection
of the Jews were foreshadowed in that account.
14. To return to what was treated of
above,(4) what is the meaning of the fact that when there was a very great famine in all
the land, yet the care of God was not wanting to the widow, and the prophet was sent to
sustain her? And when in this story the Lord warns me that He is about to speak in
truth,(5) He seems to bid my ears attend to a mystery. For what can be more true than the
mystery of Christ and the Church? Not, then, without a purpose is one preferred amongst
many widows. Who is such an one, to whom so great a prophet who was carried up into
heaven, should be guided, especially at that time when the heaven was shut for three years
and six months, when there was a great famine in the whole land? The famine was
everywhere, and yet notwithstanding this widow did not want. What are these three years?
Are they not, perchance, those in which the Lord came to the earth and could not find
fruit on the fig-tree, according to that which is written: "Behold, there are three
years that I came seeking fruit on this fig-tree, and find none."(6)
15. This is assuredly that widow of whom it
was said: "Rejoice, thou barren that bearest not, break forth and cry, thou that
availest not with child; for many are the children of the desolate, more than of her who
hath an husband."(7) And well is she a widow of whom it is well said: "Thou
shalt not remember thy shame and thy widowhood, for I am the Lord Who make thee."(1)
And perchance therefore is she a widow who has lost her Husband indeed in the suffering of
His body, but in the day of judgment shall receive again the Son of Man Whom she seemed to
have lost. "For a short time have i forsaken thee,"(2) He says, in order that,
being forsaken, she may the more gloriously keep her faith.
16. All, then, have an example to imitate,
virgins, married women, and widows. And perchance is the Church therefore a virgin,
married, and a widow, because they are one body in Christ. She is then that widow for
Whose sake when there was a dearth of the heavenly Word on earth, the prophets were
appointed, for there was a widow who was barren, yet reserved her bringing forth for its
own time.
17. So that his person does not seem to us
of small account, who by his word moistened the dry earth with the dew of heaven, and
unlocked the closed heavens certainly not by human power. For who is he who can open the
heavens except Christ, for Whom daily out of sinners food is gathered, an increase for the
Church? For it is not in the power of man to say: "The barrel of meal shall not
waste, and the cruse of oil shall not fail, until the day on which the Lord shall send
rain on the earth,''(8) For though it be the rule of the prophets to speak thus, the voice
is in truth that of the Lord. And so it is stated first: "For thus saith the
Lord."(4) For it is of the Lord to vouch for a continuance of heavenly sacraments,
and to promise that the grace of spiritual joy shall not fail, to grant the defences of
life, the seals of faith, the gifts of virtues.
18. But what does this mean: "Until the
day on which the Lord shall send rain on the earth"? except that He, too, "shall
come down like rain upon a fleece, and like the drops that water the earth."(5) In
which passage is disclosed the mystery of the old history where Gideon, the warrior of the
mystic conflict, receiving the pledge of future victory, recognized the spiritual
sacrament in the vision of his mind, that that rain was the dew of the Divine Word, which
first came down on the fleece, when all the earth was parched with continual drought, and
by a second true sign, moistened the floor of all the earth with a shower, whilst dryness
was upon the fleece.(6)
19. For the prescient man observed the sign
of the future growth of the Church. For first in Judges the dew of the divine utterance
began to give moisture (for "in Jewry is God known"),(1) whilst the whole earth
remained without the dew of faith. But when Joseph's flock began to deny God, and by
venturing on various enormous offences to incur guilt before God, then when the dew of the
heavenly shower was poured on the whole earth, the people of the Jews began to grow dry
and parched in their own unbelief, when the clouds of prophecy and the healthful shower of
the Apostles watered the holy Church gathered together from all parts of the world. This
is that rain, now condensed from earthly moisture, now from mountain mists, but diffused
throughout the whole world in the salutary shower of the heavenly Scriptures.
20. By this example, then, it is shown that
not all can merit the miracles of divine power, but they who are aided by the pursuits of
religious devotion, and that they lose the fruits of divine working who are devoid of
reverence for heaven. It is also shown in a mystery that the Son of God, in order to
restore the Church, took upon Himself the mystery of a human body, casting off the Jewish
people, from whom the counsellor and the prophet and the miracles of the divine benefits
were taken away, because that as it were by a kind of national blemish they were not
willing to believe in the Son of God.
CHAPTER IV.
By the example of Anna St. Ambrose shows
what ought to be the life of widows, and shows that she was an example of chastity at
every age. From this he argues that there are three degrees of the same virtue, all of
which are included in the Church, and sets forth several examples in Mary, in Anna, and in
Susanna. But, he adds, the state of virginity is superior to either of the others, but
that a widow ought to take greater care for the preservation of her good name.
21. Scripture then teaches as how much grace
is conferred by unity, and how great is the gift of divine blessing in widows. And since
such honour is given them by God, we must observe what mode of life corresponds thereto;
for Anna shows what widows ought to be, who, left destitute by the early death of her
husband, yet obtained the reward of full praise, being intent not less on the duties of
religion than on the pursuit of chastity. A widow, it is said, of fourscore and four
years, a widow who departed not from the temple, a widow who served God night and day with
fastings and with prayers.(1)
22. You see what sort of person a widow is
said to be, the wife of one man, tested also by the progress of age, vigorous in religion,
and worn out in body, whose resting-place is the temple, whose conversation is prayer,
whose life is fasting, who in the times of day and night by a service of unwearied
devotion, though the body acknowledge old age, yet knows no age in her piety. Thus is a
widow trained from her youth, thus is she spoken of in her age, who has kept her widowhood
not through the chance of time, nor through weakness of body, but by large-heartedness in
virtue. For when it is said that she was for seven years from her virginity with her
husband, it is a setting forth that the things which are the support of her old age began
in the aims of her youth.
23. And so we are taught that the virtue of
chastity is threefold, one kind that of married life, a second that of widowhood, and the
third that of virginity, for we do not so set forth one as to exclude others. These result
each in that which belongs to each. The training of the Church is rich in this, that it
has those whom it may set before others, but has none whom it rejects, and would that it
never could have any! We have so spoken of virginity as not to reject widowhood, we so
reverence widows as to reserve its own honour for wedlock. It is not our precepts but the
divine sayings which teach this.
24. Let us remember then how Mary, how Anna,
and how Susanna are spoken of. But since not only must we celebrate their praises but also
follow their manner of life, let us remember where Susanna,(2) and Anna,(3) and Mary(4)
are found, and observe how each is spoken of with her special commendation, and where each
is mentioned, she that is married in the garden, the widow in the temple, the virgin in
her secret chamber.
25. But in the former the fruit is later, in
virginity it is earlier; old age proves them, virginity is the praise of youth, and does
not need the help of years, being the fruit of every age. It becomes early years, it
adorns youth, it adds to the dignity of age, and at all ages it has the gray hairs of its
righteousness, the ripeness of its gravity, the veil of modesty, which does hinder
devotion and increases religion. For we see by what follows that holy Mary went every year
with Joseph to Jerusalem on the solemn day of the passover.(1) Everywhere in company with
the Virgin is eager devotion and a zealous sharer of her chastity. Nor is the Mother of
the Lord puffed up, as though secure of her own merits, but the more she recognized her
merit, the more fully did she pay her vows, the more abundantly did she perform her
service, the more fully did she discharge her office, the more religiously did she perform
her duty and fill up the mystic time.
26. How much more then does it beseem you to
be intent on the pursuit of chastity, t you leave any place for unfavourable opinion who
have the evidence of your modesty and your behaviour alone. For a virgin, though in her
also character rather than the body has the first claim, puts away calumny by the
integrity of her body, a widow who has lost the assistance of being able to prove her
virginity undergoes the inquiry as to her chastity not according to the word of a midwife,
but according to her own manner of life. Scripture, then, has shown how attentive and
religious should be the disposition of a widow.
CHAPTER V.
Liberality to the poor is recommended by the
example of the widow m the Gospel, whose two mites were preferred to the large gifts of
the rich. The two mites are treated as mystically representing the two Testaments. What
that treasure is for which we are taught to offer, after the example of the wise men,
three gifts, or after that of the widow, two. St. Ambrose concludes the chapter by an
exhortation to widows to be zealous in good works.
27. In the same book, too, but in another
place, we are taught how fitting it is to be merciful and liberal towards the poor, and
that this feeling should not be checked by the consideration of our poverty, since
liberality is determined not by the amount of our possessions, but by the disposition of
giving. For by the voice of the Lord that widow is preferred to all of whom it was said:
"This widow hath cast in more than all."(2) In which instance the Lord
characteristically teaches all, that none should be held back from giving assistance
through shame at his own poverty, and that the rich should not flatter themselves that
they seem to give more than the poor. For the piece of money out of a small stock is
richer than treasures out of abundance, because it is not the amount that is given but the
amount that remains which is considered. No one gives more than she who has left nothing
for herself.
28. Why do you, rich woman, boast yourself
by comparison with the poor, and when you are all loaded with gold, and drag along the
ground a costly robe, desire to be honoured as though she were inferior and small in
comparison with your riches, because you have surpassed the needy with your gifts? Rivers
too overflow, when they are too full, but a draught from a brook is more pleasant. New
wine foams while fermenting, and the husbandman does not consider as lost that which runs
over. While the harvest is being threshed out, grains of corn fall from the groaning
floor; but though the harvests fail, the barrel of meal wastes not, and the cruse full of
oil gives forth.(1) But the draught emptied the casks of the rich, while the tiny cruse of
oil of the widow gave abundance. That, then, is to be reckoned which you give for
devotion, not what you cast forth disdainfully. For in fine, no one gave more than she who
fed the prophet with her children's nourishment. And so since no one gave more, no one had
greater merit. This has a moral application.
29. And considering the mystical sense, one
must not despise this woman casting in two mites into the treasury. Plainly the woman was
noble who in the divine judgment was found worthy to be preferred to all. Perchance it is
she who of her faith has given two testaments for the help of man, and so no one has done
more. Nor could any one equal the amount of her gift, who joined faith with mercy. Do you,
then, whoever you are, who exercise your life the practice of widowhood, not hesitate to
cast into the treasury the two mites, full of faith and grace.
30. Happy is she who out of her treasure
brings forth the perfect image of the King. Your treasure is wisdom, your treasure is
chastity and righteousness, your treasure is a good understanding, such as was that
treasure from which the Magi, when they worshipped the Lord, brought forth gold,
frankincense, and myrrh;(2) setting forth by gold the power of a king, venerating God by
the frankincense, and by myrrh acknowledging the resurrection of the body. You too have
this treasure if you look into yourself: "For we have this treasure in earthen
vessels."(3) You have gold which you can give, for God does not exact of you the
precious gift of shining metal, but that gold which at the day of judgment the fire shall
be unable to consume. Nor does He require precious gifts, but the good odour of faith,
which the altars of your heart send forth and the disposition of a religious mind exhales.
31. From this treasure, then, not only the
three gifts of the Magi but also the two mites of the widow are taken, on which the
perfect image of the heavenly King shines forth, the brightness of His glory and the image
of His substance. Precious, too, are those hardly earned gains of chastity which the widow
gives of her labour and daily task, continually night and day working at her task, and by
the wakeful labour of her profitable chastity gathering treasure; that she may preserve
the couch of her deceased husband unviolated, be able to support her dear children, and to
minister to the poor. She is to be preferred to the rich, she it is who shall not fear the
judgment of Christ.
32. Strive to equal her, my daughters:
"It is good to be zealously affected in a good thing."(1) "Covet earnestly
the best gifts"(2) The Lord is ever looking upon you, Jesus looks upon you when He
goes to the treasury, and you think that of the gain of your good works assistance is to
be given to those in need. What is it, then, that you should give your two mites and gain
in return the Lord's Body? Go not, then, empty into the sight of the Lord your God,(3)
empty of mercy, empty of faith, empty of chastity; for the Lord Jesus is wont to look upon
and to commend not the empty, but those who are rich in virtues. Let the maiden see you at
work, let her see you ministering to others. For this is the return which you owe to God,
that you should make your return to God from the progress of others. No return is more
acceptable to God than the offerings of piety.
CHAPTER VI.
Naomi is an instance of a widow receiving
back from her daughter-in-law the fruits of her own good training, and is a token that
necessary support will never fail the good widow. And if her life appears sad, she is
happy, since the promises of the Lord are made to her. St. Ambrose then touches upon the
benefits of weeping.
33. Does the widow Naomi seem to you of
small account, who supported her widowhood on the gleanings from another's harvest, and
who, when heavy with age, was supported by her daughter-in-law?(1) It is a great benefit
both for the support and for the advantage of widows, that they so train their
daughters-in-law as to have in them a support in full old age, and, as it were, payment
for their teaching and reward for their training. For to her who has well taught and well
instructed her daughter-in-law a Ruth will never be wanting who will prefer the widowed
life of her mother-in-law to her father's house, and if her husband also be dead, will not
leave her, will support her in need, comfort her in sorrow, and not leave her if sent
away; for good instruction will never know want. So that Naomi, deprived of her husband
and her two sons, having lost the offspring of her fruitfulness, lost not the reward of
her pious care, for she found both a comfort in sorrow and a support in poverty.
34. You see, then, holy women, how fruitful
a widow is in the offspring of virtues, and the results of her own merits, which cannot
come to an end. A good widow, then, knows no want, and if she be weary through age, in
extreme poverty, yet she has as a rule the reward of the training she has given. Though
the nearest to herself have failed, she finds those not so near akin to cherish their
mother, revere their parent, and by the trifling gifts for her support desire to gain the
fruit of their own kindness, for richly are gifts to a widow repaid. She asks food and
pays back treasures.
35. But she seems to spend sad days, and to
pass her time in tears. And she is the more blessed in this, for by a little weeping she
purchases for herself everlasting joys, and at the cost of a few moments gains eternity.
To such it is well said: "Blessed are ye that weep, for ye shall laugh."(2) Who
then would prefer the deceitful appearances of present joys to the pleasure of future
freedom from anxiety? Does he seem to us an insignificant authority, the elect forefather
of the Lord after the flesh, who ate ashes as it were bread, and mingled his drink with
weeping,(3) and by his tears at night gained for himself the joy of redemption in the
morning? Whence did he gain that great joy except that he greatly wept, and, as it were,
at the price of his tears obtained the grace of future glory for himself.
36. The widow has, then, this excellent
recommendation, that while she mourns her husband she also weeps for the world, and the
redeeming tears are ready, which shed for the dead will benefit the living. The weeping of
the eyes is fitted to the sadness of the mind, it arouses pity, lessens labour, relieves
grief, and preserves modesty, and she no longer seems to herself so wretched, finding
comfort in tears Which are the pay of love and proofs of pious memory.
CHAPTER VII.
By the example of Judith is shown that
courage is not wanting in widows; her preparation for her visit to Holofernes is dwelt
upon, as also her chastity and her wisdom, her sobriety and moderation. Lastly, St.
Ambrose, after demonstrating that she was no less brave than prudent, sets forth her
modesty after her success.
37. But bravery also is usually not wanting
to a good widow. For this is true bravery, which surpasses the usual nature and the
weakness of the sex by the devotion of the mind, such as was in her who was named
Judith,(1) who of herself alone was able to rouse up from utter prostration and defend
from the enemy men broken down by the siege, smitten with fear, and pining with hunger.
For she, as we read, when Holofernes, dreaded after his success in so many battles, had
driven countless thousands of men within the walls; when the armed men were afraid, and
were already treating about the final surrender, went forth outside the wall, both
excelling that army which she delivered, and braver than that which she put to flight.
38. But in order to learn the dispositions
of ripe widowhood, run through the course of the Scriptures. From the time when her
husband died she laid aside the garments of mirth, and took those of mourning. Every day
she was intent on fasting except on the Sabbath and the Lord's Day and the times of holy
days, not as yielding to desire of refreshment, but out of respect for religion. For this
is that which is said: "Whether ye eat or drink, all is to be done in the name of
Jesus Christ,"(2) that even the very refreshment of the body is to have respect to
the worship of holy religion. So then, holy Judith,(3) strengthened by lengthened mourning
and by daily fasting, sought not the enjoyments of the world regardless of danger, and
strong in her contempt for death. In order to accomplish her stratagem she put on that
robe of mirth, wherewith in her husband's lifetime she was wont to be clothed, as though
she would give pleasure to her husband, if she freed her country. But she saw another man
whom she was seeking to please, even Him, of Whom it is said: "After me cometh a Man
Who is preferred before me."(1) And she did well in resuming her bridal ornaments
when about to fight, for the reminders of wedlock are the arms of chastity, and in no
other way could a widow please or gain the victory.
39. Why relate the sequel? How she amongst
thousands of enemies, remained chaste. Why speak of her wisdom, in that she designed such
a scheme? She chose out the commander, to ward off from herself the insolence of
inferiors, and prepare an opportunity for victory. She reserved the merit of abstinence
and the grace of chastity. For unpolluted, as we read, either by food or by adultery, she
gained no less a triumph over the enemy by preserving her chastity than by delivering her
country.
40. What shall I say of her sobriety?
Temperance, indeed, is the virtue of women. When the men were intoxicated with wine and
buried in sleep, the widow took the sword, put forth her hand, cut off the warrior's head.
and passed unharmed through the midst of the ranks of the enemy. You notice, then, how
much drunkenness can injure a woman, seeing that wine so weakens men that they are
overcome by women. Let a widow, then, be temperate, pure in the first place from wine,
that she may be pure from adultery. He will tempt you in vain, if wine tempts you not. For
if Judith had drunk she would have slept with the adulterer. But because she drank not,
the sobriety of one without difficulty was able both to overcome and to escape from a
drunken army.
41. And this was not so much a work of her
hands, as much more a trophy of her wisdom. For having overcome Holofernes by her hand
alone, she overcame the whole army of the enemies by her wisdom. For hanging up the head
of Holofernes, a deed which the wisdom of the men had been unable to plan, she raised the
courage of her countrymen, and broke down that of the enemy. She stirred up her own
friends by her modesty, and struck terror into the enemy so that they were put to flight
and slain. And so the temperance and sobriety of one widow not only subdued her own
nature, but, which is far more, even made men more brave.
42. And yet she was not so elated by this
success, though she might well rejoice and exult by right of her victory, as to give up
the exercises of her widowhood, but refusing all who desired to wed her she laid aside her
garments of mirth and took again those of her widowhood, not caring for the adornments of
her triumph, thinking those things better whereby vices of the body are subdued than those
whereby the weapons of an enemy are overcome.
CHAPTER VIII.
Though many other widows came near to Judith
in virtue, St. Ambrose proposes to speak of Deborah only. What a pattern of virtue she
must have been for widows, who was chosen to govern and defend men. It was no small glory
to her that when her son was over the host he refused to go forth to battle unless she
would go also. So that she led the army and foretold the result. In this story the
conflicts and triumphs of the Church, and her spiritual weapons, are set forth, and every
excuse of weakness is taken from women.
43. And in order that it may not seem as if
only one widow had fulfilled this inimitable work, it seems in no Way doubtful that there
were many others of equal or almost equal virtue, for good seed corn usually bears many
ears filled with grains. Doubt not. then, that that ancient seed-time was fruitful in the
characters of many women. But as it would be tedious to include all, consider some, and
especially Deborah,(1) whose virtue Scripture records for us.
44. For she showed not only that widows have
no need of the help of a man, inasmuch as she, not at all restrained by the weakness of
her sex, undertook to perform the duties of a man, and did even more than she had
undertaken. And, at last, when the Jews were being ruled under the leadership of the
judges, because they could not govern them with manly justice, or defend them with manly
strength, and so wars broke out on all sides, they chose Deborah,(2) by whose judgment
they might be ruled. And so one widow both ruled many thousands of men in peace, and
defended them from the enemy. There were many judges in Israel, but no woman before was a
judge, as after Joshua there were many judges but none was a prophet. And I think that her
judgeship has been narrated, and her deeds described, that women should not be restrained
from deeds of valour by the weakness of their sex. A widow, she governs the people; a
widow, she leads armies; a widow, she chooses generals; a widow, she determines wars and
orders triumphs. So, then, it is not nature which is answerable for the fault or which is
liable to weakness. It is not sex, but valour which makes strong.
45. And in time of peace there is no
complaint, and no fault is found in this woman whereas most of the judges were causes of
no small sins to the people. But when the Canaanites, a people fierce in battle and rich
in troops, successively joined them, showed a horrible disposition against the people of
the Jews, this widow, before all others, made all the preparations for war. And to show
that the needs of the household were not dependent on the public resources, but rather
that public duties were guided by the discipline of home life, she brings forth from her
home her son as leader of the army, that we may acknowledge that a widow can train a
warrior; whom, as a mother, she taught, and, as judge, placed in command, as, being
herself brave, she trained him, and, as a prophetess, sent to certain victory.
46. And lastly, her son Barak shows the
chief part of the victory was in the hands of a woman when he said: "If thou wilt not
go with me I will not go, for I know not the day on which the Lord sendeth His angel with
me."(1) How great, then, was the might of that woman to whom the leader of the army
says, "If thou wilt not go I will not go." How great, I say, the fortitude of
the widow who keeps not back her son from dangers through motherly affection, but rather
with the zeal of a mother exhorts her son to go forth to victory, while saying that the
decisive point of that victory is m the hand of a woman!
47. So, then, Deborah foretold the event of
the battle. Barak, as he was bidden, led forth the army; Jael carried off the triumph, for
the prophecy of Deborah fought for her, who in a mystery revealed to us the rising of the
Church from among the Gentiles, for whom should be found a triumph over Sisera, that is,
over the powers opposed to her. For us, then, the oracles of the prophets fought, for us
those judgments and arms of the prophets won the victory. And for this reason it was not
the people of the Jews but Jael who gained the victory over the enemy. Unhappy, then, was
that people which could not follow up by the virtue of faith the enemy, whom it had put to
flight. And so by their fault salvation came to the Gentiles, by their sluggishness the
victory was reserved for us.
48. Jael then destroyed Sisera, whom however
the band of Jewish veterans had put to flight under their brilliant' leader, for this is
the interpretation of the name Barak; for often, as we read, the sayings and merits of the
prophets procured heavenly aid for the fathers. But even at that time was victory being
prepared over spiritual wickedness for those to whom it is said in the Gospel: "Come,
ye blessed of My Father, take possession of the kingdom prepared for you from the
foundation of the world.''(2) So the commencement of the victory was from the Fathers, its
conclusion is in the Church.
49. But the Church does not overcome the
powers of the enemy with weapons of this world, but with spiritual arms, "which are
mighty through God to the destruction of strongholds and the high places of spiritual
wickedness."(3) And Sisera's thirst was quenched with a bowl of milk, because he was
overcome by wisdom, for what is healthful for us as food is deadly and weakening to the
power of the enemy. The weapons of the Church are faith, the weapons of the Church are
prayer, which overcomes the enemy.
50. And so according to this history a
woman, that the minds of women might be stirred up, became a judge, a woman set all in
order, a woman prophesied, a woman triumphed, and joining in the battle array taught men
to war under a woman's lead. But in a mystery it is the battle of faith and the victory of
the Church.
51. You, then, who are women have no excuse
because of your nature. You who are widows have no excuse because of the weakness of your
sex, nor can you attribute your changeableness to the loss of the support of a husband.
Every one has sufficient protection if courage is not wanting to the soul. And the very
advance of age is a common defence of chastity for widows; and grief for the husband who
is lost, regular work, the care of the house, anxiety for children, frequently ward off
wantonness hurtful to the soul; while the very mourning attire, the funeral solemnities,
the constant weeping, and grief impressed on the sad brow in deep wrinkles, restrains
wanton eyes, checks lust, turns away forward looks. The sorrow of regretful affection is a
good guardian of chastity, guilt cannot find an entrance if vigilance be not wanting.
CHAPTER IX.
To an objection that the state of widowhood
might indeed be endurable if circumstances were pleasant, St. Ambrose replies that
pleasant surroundings are more dangerous than even trouble; and goes to show by examples
taken from holy Scripture, that widows may find much happiness in their children and their
sons-in-law. They should have recourse to the Apostles, who are able to help us, and
should entreat for the intercessions of angels and martyrs. He touches then on certain
complaints respecting loneliness, and care of property, and ends by pointing out the
unseemliness of a widow marrying who has daughters either married already or of
marriageable age.
52. You have learnt, then, you who are
widows, that you are not destitute of the help of nature, and that you can maintain sound
counsel. Nor, again, are you devoid of protection at home, who are able to claim even the
highest point of public power.
53. But perhaps some one may say that
widowhood is more endurable for her who enjoys prosperity, but that widows are soon broken
down by adversity, and easily succumb. On which point not only are we taught by experience
that enjoyment is more perilous for widows than difficulties, but by the examples in the
Scriptures that even in weakness widows are not usually without aid,(1) and that divine
and human support is furnished more readily to them than to others, if they have brought
up children and chosen sons-in-law well. And, finally, when Simon's mother-in-law was
lying sick with violent fever, Peter and Andrew besought the Lord for her: "And He
stood over her and commanded the fever and it left her, and immediately she arose and
ministered unto them."(2)
54. "She was taken," it is said,
"with a great fever, and they besought him for her."(3) You too have those near
you to entreat for you. You have the Apostles near, you have the Martyrs near; if
associated with the Martyrs in devotion, you draw near them also by works of mercy. Do you
show mercy and you will be close to Peter. It is not relationship by blood but affinity of
virtue which makes near, for we walk not in the flesh but in the Spirit. Cherish, then,
the nearness of Peter and the affinity of Andrew, that they may pray for you and your
lusts give way. Touched by the word of God you, who lay on the earth, will then forthwith
rise up to minister to Christ. "For our conversation is in heaven, whence also we
look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ."(1) For no one lying down can minister
to Christ Minister to the poor and you have ministered to Christ. "For what ye have
done unto one of these," He says, "ye have done unto Me."(2) You, widows,
have then assistance, if you choose such sons-in-law for yourselves, such patrons and
friends for your posterity.
55. So Peter and Andrew prayed for the
widow. Would that there were some one who could so quickly pray for us, or better still,
they who prayed for the mother-in-law, Peter and Andrew his brother. Then they could pray
for one related to them, now they are able to pray for us and for all. For you see that
one bound by great sin is less fit to pray for herself, certainly less likely to obtain
for herself. Let her then make use of others to pray for her to the physician. For the
sick, unless the physician be called to them by the prayers of others, cannot pray for
themselves. The flesh is weak, the soul is sick and hindered by the chains of sins, and
cannot direct its feeble steps to the throne of that physician. The angels must be
entreated for us, who have been to us as guards; the martyrs must be entreated, whose
patronage we seem to claim for ourselves by the pledge as it were of their bodily remains.
They can entreat for our sins, who, if they had any sins, washed them in their own blood;
for they are the martyrs of God, our leaders, the beholders of our life and of our
actions. Let us not be ashamed to take them as intercessors for our weakness, for they
themselves knew the weaknesses of the body, even when they overcame.
56. So, then, Peter's mother-in-law found
some to pray for her. And you, O widow, find those who will pray for you, if as a true
widow and desolate you hope in God, continue instant in supplications, persist in
prayers,(3) treat your body as dying daily, that by dying you may live again; avoid
pleasures, that you, too, being sick, may be healed. "For she that liveth in pleasure
is dead while she liveth."(4)
57. You have no longer any reason for
marrying, you have some to intercede for you. Say not, "I am desolate." This is
the complaint of one who wishes to marry. Say not, "I am alone." Chastity seeks
solitude: the modest seek privacy, the immodest company. But you have necessary business;
you have also one to plead for you. You are afraid of your adversary; the Lord Himself
will intervene with the judge and say: "Judge for the fatherless, and justify the
widow."(1)
58. But you wish to take care of your
inheritance. The inheritance of modesty is greater, and this a widow can guard better than
one married. A slave has done wrong. Forgive him, for it is better that you should bear
with another's fault than expose it. But you wish to marry. Be it so. The simple desire is
no crime. I do not ask the reason, why is one invented? If you think it good, say so; if
unsuitable, be silent. Do not blame God, do not blame your relatives, saying that
protection fails you. Would that the wish did not fail! And say not that you are
consulting the interests of your children, whom you are depriving of their mother.
59. There are some things permissible in the
abstract, but not permissible on account of age. Why is the bridal of the mother being
prepared at the same time with that of the daughters, and often even afterwards? Why does
the grown-up daughter learn to blush in the presence of her mother's betrothed rather than
her own? I confess that I advised you to change your dress, but not to put on a bridal
veil; to go away from the tomb, not to prepare a bridal couch. What is the meaning of a
newly-married woman who already has sons-in-law? How unseemly it is to have children
younger than one's grand-children!
CHAPTER X.
St. Ambrose returns again to the subject of
Christ, speaking of His goodness in all misery. The various ways in which the good
Physician treats our diseases, and the quickness of the healing if only we do not neglect
to call upon Him. He touches upon the moral meaning of the will, which he shows was
manifested in Peter's mother-in-law, and lastly points out what a minister of Christ and
specially a bishop ought to be, and says that they specially must rise through grace.
60. But let us return to the point, and not,
while we are grieving over the wounds of our sins, leave the physician, and whilst
ministering to the sores of others, let our own go on increasing. The Physician is then
here asked for. Do not fear, because the Lord is great, that perhaps He will not
condescend to come to one who is sick, for He often comes to us from heaven; and is wont
to visit not only the rich but also the poor and the servants of the poor.(1) And so now
He comes, when called upon, to Peter's mother-in-law. "And He stood over her and
rebuked the fever, and it left her, and immediately she arose and ministered unto
them."(2) As He is worthy of being remembered, so, too, is He worthy of being longed
for, worthy, too, of love, for His condescension to every single matter which affects men,
and His marvellous acts. He disdains not to visit widows, and to enter the narrow rooms of
a poor cottage. As God He commands, as man He visits.
61. Thanks be to the Gospel, by means of
which we also, who saw not Christ when He came into this world, seem to be with Him when
we read His deeds, that as they, to whom He drew near, borrowed faith from Him, so may He,
when we believe His deeds, draw near to us.
61. Do you see what kinds of healing are
with Him? He commands the fever, He commands the unclean spirits, at another place He lays
hands on them. He was wont then to heal the sick, not only by word but also by touch. And
do you then, who burn with many desires, taken either by the beauty or by the fortune of
some one, implore Christ, call in the Physician, stretch forth your right hand to Him, let
the hand of God touch your inmost being, and the grace of the heavenly Word enter the
veins of your inward desires, let God's right hand strike the secrets of your heart. He
spreads clay on the eyes of some that they may see,(3) and the Creator of all teaches us
that we ought to be mindful of our own nature, and to discern the vileness of our body;
for no one can see divine things except one who through knowledge of his vileness cannot
be puffed up. Another is bidden to show himself to the priest, that he may for ever be
free from the scales of leprosy.(4) For he alone can preserve his purity, both of body and
soul, who knows how to show himself to that priest, Whom we have received as an Advocate
for our sins, and to Whom is plainly said: "Thou art a priest for ever after the
order of Melchisedech." (5)
63. And be not afraid that there will be any
delay in healing. He who is healed by Christ has no hindrances. You must use the remedy
which you have received; and as soon as He has given the command, the blind man sees, the
paralytic walks, the dumb speaks, the deaf hears, she that has a fever ministers, the
lunatic is delivered. And do you, then, who ever after an unseemly fashion languish for
desire of anything, entreat the Lord, show Him your faith, and fear no delay. Where there
is prayer, the Word is present, desire is put to flight, lust departs. And be not afraid
of offending by confession, take it rather as a right, for you who were before afflicted
by an intense disease of the body will begin to minister to Christ.
64. And in this place can be seen the
disposition of the will of Peter's mother-in-law, from which she received for herself, as
it were, the seed corn of what was to come, for to each his will is the cause of that
which is to come. For from the will springs wisdom, which the wise man takes in marriage
to himself, saying: "I desire to make her my spouse."(1) This will, then, which
at first was weak and languid under the fever of various desires, afterwards by the office
of the apostles rose up strong to minister unto Christ.
65. At the same time it is also shown what
he ought to be who ministers to Christ, for first he must be free from the enticements of
various pleasures, he must be free from inward languor of body and soul, that he may
minister the Body and Blood of Christ. For no one who is sick with his own sins, and far
from being whole, can minister the remedies of the healing of immortality. See what thou
doest, O priest, and touch not the Body of Christ with a fevered hand. First be healed
that thou mayest be able to minister. If Christ bids those who are now cleansed, but were
once leprous, to show themselves to the priests,(2) how much more is it fitting for the
priest himself to be pure. That widow, then, cannot take it ill that I have not spared
her, since I spare not myself.
66. Peter's mother-in-law, it is written,
rose up and ministered to them. Well is it said, rose up, for the grace of the apostleship
was already furnishing a type of the sacrament. It is proper to the ministers of Christ to
rise, according to that which is written: "Awake, thou that sleepest, and arise from
the dead.
CHAPTER XI.
Having shown that the pretexts usually
alleged for second marriages have no weight, St. Ambrose declares that he does not condemn
them, though from the Apostle's words he sets forth their inconveniences, though the state
of those twice married is approved in the Church, and he takes occasion to advert to those
heretics who forbid them. And hes ays that it is because the strength of different persons
varies that chastity is not commanded, but only recommended.
67. I say, then, that widows who have been
in the habit of giving neither are in want of their necessary expenses, nor of help, who
in very great dangers have often guarded the resources of their husbands; and further, I
think that the good offices of a husband are usually made up for to them by sons-in-law
and other relatives, and that God's mercy is more ready to help them, and therefore, when
there is no special cause for marrying, the desire of so doing should not exist.
68. This, however, I say as a counsel, we do
not order it as a precept, stirring up the wills of widows rather than binding them. for I
do not forbid second marriages, only I do not advise them. The consideration of human
weakness is one thing, the grace of chastity is another. I say more, I do not forbid
second, but do not approve of often repeated marriages, for not everything is expedient
which is lawful: "All things are lawful to me," says the Apostle, "but all
things are not expedient."(1) As, also, to drink wine is lawful, but, for the most
part. it is not expedient.
69. It is then lawful to marry, but it is
more seemly to abstain, for there are bonds in marriage. Do you ask what bonds? "The
woman who is under a husband is bound by the law so long as her husband liveth; but if her
husband be dead she is loosed from the law of her husband."(2) It is then proved that
marriage is a bond by which the woman is bound and from which she is loosed. Beautiful is
the grace of mutual love, but the bondage is more constant. "The wife hath not power
of her own body, but the husband."(3) And lest this bondage should seem to be rather
one of sex than of marriage, there follows: "Likewise, also, the husband hath not
power of his own body, but the wife." How great; then, is the constraint in marriage,
which subjects even the stronger to the other; for by mutual constraint each is bound to
serve. Nor if one wishes to refrain can he withdraw his neck from the yoke, for he is
subject to the incontinence of the other. It is said: "Ye are bought with a price, be
not ye servants of men."(1) You see how plainly the servitude of marriage is defined.
It is not I who say this, but the Apostle; or, rather. it is not he, but Christ, Who spoke
in him. And he spoke of this servitude in the case of good married people. For above you
read: "The unbelieving husband is sanctified by his believing wife; and the
unbelieving wife by her believing husband.(2) And further on: "But if the unbelieving
depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases."(3) If,
then, a good marriage is servitude, what is a bad one, when they cannot sanctify, but
destroy one another?
70. But as I exhort widows to keep the grace
of their gift, so, too, I incite women to observe ecclesiastical discipline, for the
Church is made up of all. Though it be the flock of Christ, yet some are fed on strong
food, others are still nourished with milk, who must be on their guard against those
wolves who are hidden in sheep's clothing, pretending to all appearance of continence, but
inciting to the foulness of incontinence. For they know how severe are the burdens of
chastity, since they cannot touch them with the tips of their fingers; they require of
others that which is above measure, when they themselves cannot even observe any measure,
but rather give way under the cruel weight. For the measure of the burden must always be
according to the strength of him who has to bear it; otherwise, where the bearer is weak,
he breaks down with the burden laid upon him; for too strong meat chokes the throats of
infants.
71. And so as ill a multitude of bearers
their strength is not estimated by that of a few; nor do the stronger receive their tasks
in accordance with the weakness of others, but each is allowed to bear as great a burden
as he desires, the reward increasing with the increase of strength; so, too, a snare is
not to be set for women, nor a burden of continence beyond their strength to be taken up,
but it must be left to each to weigh the matter for herself, not compelled by the
authority of any command, but incited by increase of grace. And so for different degrees
of virtue a different reward is set forth, and one thing is not blamed that another may be
praised; but all are spoken of, in order that what is best may be preferred.
CHAPTER XII.
The difference between matters of precept
and of counsel is treated of; as shown in the case of the young man in the Gospel, and the
difference of the rewards set forth both for counsels and precepts is spoken of.
72. Marriage, then, is honourable, but
chastity is more honourable, for "he that giveth his virgin ill marriage doeth well,
but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. (1) That, then, which is good need
not be avoided, but that which is better should be chosen. And so it is not laid upon any,
but set before him. And, therefore, the Apostle said well: "Concerning virgins I have
no commandment of the Lord, yet I give my counsel."(2) For a command is issued to
those subject, counsel is given to friends. Where there is a commandment, there is a law;
where counsel, there is grace. A commandment is given to enforce what is according to
nature, a counsel to incite us to follow grace. And, therefore, the Law was given to the
Jews, but grace was reserved for the elect. The Law was given that, through fear of
punishment, it might recall those who were wandering beyond the limits of nature, to their
observance, but grace to incite the elect both by the desire of good things, and also by
the promised rewards.
73. You will see the difference between
precept and counsel, if you remember the case of him in the Gospel, to whom it is first
commanded to do no murder, not to commit adultery, not to bear false witness; for that is
a commandment which has a penalty for its transgression. But when he said that he had
fulfilled all the commandments of the Law, there is given to him a counsel that he should
sell all that he had and follow the Lord,(3) for these things are not imposed as commands,
but are offered as counsels. For there are two ways of commanding things, one by way of
precept, the other by way of counsel. And so the Lord in one way says: "Thou shalt
not kill," where He gives a commandment; in the other He says: "If thou wilt be
perfect, sell all that thou hast." He is, then, not bound by a commandment to whom
the choice is left.
74. And so they who have fulfilled the
commandments are able to say: "We are unprofitable servants, we have done that which
was our duty to do."(4) The virgin does not say this, nor he who sold all his goods,
but they rather await the stored-up rewards like the holy Apostle who says: "Behold
we have forsaken all and followed Thee, what shall we have therefore? "(1) He says
not, like the unprofitable servant, that he has done that which was his duty to do, but as
being profitable to his Master, because he has multiplied the talents entrusted to him by
the increase he has gained, having a good conscience, and without anxiety as to his merits
he expects the reward of his faith and virtue. And so it is said to him and the others:
"Ye which have followed Me, in the regeneration, when the Son of Man shall sit in the
throne of His glory, shall also yourselves sit upon twelve thrones, judging the tribes of
Israel."(2) And to those who had faithfully preserved their talents He promises
rewards indeed, though smaller saying: "Because thou hast been faithful over a few
things, I will make thee ruler over many things.(3) Good faith. then, is due, but mercy is
in the rewards. He who has kept good faith has deserved that good faith should be kept
with him; he who has made good profit, because he has not sought his own benefit, has
gained a claim to a heavenly reward.
CHAPTER XIII.
St. Ambrose, treating of the words in the
Gospel concerning eunuchs, condemns those who make themselves such. Those only deserve
praise who have through continence gained the victory over themselves, but no one is to be
compelled to live this life, as neither Christ nor the Apostle laid down such a law, so
that the marriage vow is not to be blamed, though that of chastity is better.
75. So, then, a commandment to this effect
is not given, but a counsel is. Chastity is commanded entire continence counselled.
"But all men cannot receive this saying, but they to whom it is given. For there are
eunuchs which were so born from their mothers womb,"(4) in whom exists a natural
necessity not the virtue of chastity. "And there are eunuchs who have made themselves
eunuchs," of their own will, that is, not of necessity. "And there are eunuchs
which were made eunuchs of men .... "(5) And, therefore, great is the grace of
continence in them, because it is the will, not incapacity, which makes a man continent.
For it is seemly to preserve the gift of divine working whole. And let them not think it
too little not to be impeded by the inclination of the body, for if the reward for going
through that conflict is taken from their reach, the matter of sin is also removed, and
though they cannot receive the crown, no more can they be overcome. They have other kinds
of virtues by which they ought to commend themselves if their faith be firm, their
mercifulness abundant, avarice far from them, grace abundant. But in them there is no
fault, for they are ignorant of the act of sin.
76. The case is not the same of those who
mutilate themselves, and I touch upon this point advisedly, for there are some who look
ripen it as a holy deed to check by the evil violence of this sort. And though I am not
willing to express my own opinion concerning them, though decisions of our forefathers are
in existence; but then consider whether this tends not rather to a declaration of weakness
than to a reputation for strength. On this principle no one should fight lest he be
overcome, nor make use of his feet, fearing the danger of stumbling, nor let his eyes do
their office because he fears a fall through lust. But what does it profit to cut the
flesh, when there may be guilt even in a look? "For whosoever looketh on a woman to
lust after her hath committed adultery already with her in his heart. "(1) And
likewise she who looks on a man to lust after him commits adultery. It becomes us, then,
to be chaste, not weak, to have our eyes modest, not feeble.
77. No one, then, ought, as many suppose, to
mutilate himself, but rather gain the victory; for the Church gathers in those who
conquer, not those who are defeated. And why should I use arguments when the words of the
Apostle's command are at hand? For you find it thus written: "I would that they were
mutilated who desire that you should be circumcised." For why should the means of
gaining a crown and of the practice of virtue be lost to a man who is born to honour,
equipped for victory? how can he through courage of soul mutilate himself? "There be
eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake."(3)
78. This, however, is not a commandment
given to all, but a wish set before all. For he who commands must always keep to the exact
scope of the commandments, and he who distributes tasks must observe equity in looking
into them, for: "A false balance is abomination to the Lord. "(4) There is,
then, an excess and a defect in weight, but the Church accepts neither, for:
"Excessive and defective weights and divers measures, both of them are alike
abominable in the sight of the Lord."(1) There are tasks which wisdom apportions, and
apportions according to the estimate of the virtue and strength of each. "He that is
able to receive it let him receive it."
79. For the Creator of all knows that the
dispositions of each are different, and therefore incited virtue by rewards, instead of
binding weakness by chains. And he, the teacher of the Gentiles, the good guide of our
conduct, and instructor of our inmost affections, who had learnt in himself that the law
of the flesh resists the law of the mind, but yields to the grace of Christ, he knows, I
say, that various movements of the mind are opposed to each other; and, therefore, so
expresses his exhortations to chastity, as not to do away with the grace of marriage, nor
has he so exalted marriage as to check the desire of chastity. But beginning with the
recommendation of chastity, he goes on to remedies against incontinence, and having set
before the stronger the prize of their high calling, he suffers no one to faint by the
way; approving those who take the lead so as not to make little of those who follow. For
he, himself, had learnt that the Lord Jesus gave to some barley bread(3) lest they should
faint by the way, and administered His Body to others,(4) that they might strive for the
kingdom.
80. For the Lord Himself did not impose this
commandment, but invited the will, and the Apostle did not lay down a rule, but gave a
counsel.(5) But this not a man's counsel as to things within the compass of man's
strength, for he acknowledges that the gift of divine mercy was bestowed upon him, that he
might know how faithfully to set first the former, and to arrange the latter. And,
therefore, he says: "I think," not, I order, but, "I think that this is
good because of the present distress."(6)
81. The marriage bond is not then to be
shunned as though it were sinful, but rather declined as being a galling burden. For the
law binds the wife to bear children in labour and in sorrow, and is in subjection to her
husband, for that he is lord over her. So, then, the married woman, but not the widow, is
subject to labour and pain in bringing forth children, and she only that is married, not
she that is a virgin, is under the power of her husband. The virgin is free from all these
things, who has vowed her affection to the Word of God, who awaits the Spouse of blessing
with her lamp burning with the light of a good will. And so she is moved. by counsels, not
bound by chains.
CHAPTER XIV.
Though a widow may have received no
commandment, yet she has received so many counsels that she ought not to think little of
them. St. Ambrose would be sorry to lay any snare for her, seeing that the field of the
Church grows richer as a result of wedlock, but it is absolutely impossible to deny that
widow-hood, which St. Paul praises, is profitable. Consequently, he speaks severely about
those who have proscribed widowhood by law.
82. But neither has the widow received any
command, but a counsel; a counsel, however, not given once only but often repeated. For,
first, it is said: "It is good for a man not to touch a woman."(1) And again:
"I would that all men were even as I myself; "(2) axed once more: "It is
good for them if they remain even as I; "(3) and a fourth time: "It is good for
the present distress."(4) And that it is well pleasing to the Lord, and honourable,
and, lastly, that perseverance in widowhood is happier, he lays down not only as his own
judgment, but also as an aspiration of the Holy Spirit. Who, then, can reject the kindness
of such a counsellor? Who gives the reins to the will, and advises in the case of others
that which he has found advantageous by his own experience, he who is not easy to catch
up, and is not hurt at being equalled. Who, then, would shrink from becoming holy in body
and spirit, since the reward is far above the toil, grace beyond need, and the wages above
the work?
83. And this, I say, not in order to lay a
snare for others, but that as a good husbandman of the land entrusted to me, I may see
this field of the Church to be fruitful, at one time blossoming with the flowers of
purity, at another time strong in the gravity of widow-hood, and yet again abounding with
the fruits of wedlock. For though they be diverse, yet they are the fruits of one field;
there are not so many lilies in the gardens as ears of corn in the fields, and many more
fields are prepared for receiving seed than lie fallow after the crops are gathered in.
84. Widowhood is, then, good, which is so
often praised by the judgment of the apostles, for it is a teacher of the faith and a
teacher of chastity. Whereas they who honour the adulteries and the shame of their gods
appointed penalties for celibacy and widowhood;(1) that zealous in pursuit of crimes they
might punish the study of virtues; under the pretext, indeed, of seeking increase of the
population, but in reality that they might put an end to the purpose of chastity. For the
soldier, when his time is ended, lays aside his arms, and leaving the rank which he held,
is dismissed as a veteran to his own land, that he may obtain rest after the toils of a
laborious life, and cause others to be more ready to undergo labour in the hope of future
repose. The labourer, too, as he grows too old, entrusts the guiding of the plough to
others, and worn out by the toil of his youth, enjoys in his old age that which his
foresight has cared for, still ready to prune the vine rather than to press the grapes, so
as to check the luxuriance of early life, and to cut off with his pruning knife the
wantonness of youth, teaching, as it were, that blessed fruitfulness is to be aimed at
even in the vine.
85. In like manner the widow, as a veteran,
having served her time, though she lays aside the arms of married life, yet orders the
peace of the whole house: though now freed from carrying burdens, she is yet watchful for
the younger who are to be married; and with the thoughtfulness of old age she arranges
where more pains would be profitable, where produce would be more abundant, which is
fitted for the marriage bond. And so, if the field is entrusted to the elder rather than
to the younger, why should you think that it is more advantageous to be a married woman
than a widow? But, if the persecutors of the faith have also been the persecutors of
widowhood, most certainly by those who hold the faith, widowhood is not to be shunned as a
penalty, but to be esteemed as a reward.
CHAPTER XV.
St. Ambrose meets the objection of those who
make the desire of having children an excuse for second marriage, and especially in the
case of those who have children of their former marriage; and points out the consequent
troubles of disagreements amongst the children, and even between the married persons, and
gives a warning against a wrong use of Scripture instances in this matter.
86. Perhaps, however, it may seem good to
some that marriage should again be entered upon for the sake of having children. But if
the desire of children be a reason for marrying, certainly where there are children, the
reason does not exist. And is it wise to wish to have a second trial of that fruitfulness
which has already been tried in vain, or to submit to the solitude which you have already
borne? This is the case of those who have no children.
87. Then, too, she who has borne children,
and has lost them (for she who has a hope of bearing children will have an intenser
longing), does not she, I say, seem to herself to be covering over the deaths of her lost
children by the celebration of a second marriage? Will she not again suffer what she is
again seeking? and does she not shrink at the graves of her hopes, the memories of the
bereavements she has suffered, the voices of the mourners? Or, when the torches are lit
and night is coming on, does she not think rather that funeral rites are being prepared
than a bridal chamber? Why, then, my daughter, do you seek again those sorrows which you
dread, more than you look for children whom you no longer hope for? If sorrow is so
grievous, one should rather avoid than seek that which causes it.
88. And what advice shall I give to you who
have children? What reason have you for marrying? Perhaps foolish light-mindedness, or the
habit of incontinence, or the consciousness of a wounded spirit is urging you on. But
counsel is given to the sober, not to the drunken, and so my words are addressed to the
free conscience which is whole in each respect. She that is wounded has a remedy, she that
is upright a counsel. What do you intend to do then, my daughter? Why do you seek for
heirs from without when you have your own? You are not desiring of children, for you have
them, but servitude from which you are free. For this true servitude, in which love is
exhausted, which no longer the charm of virginity, and early youth, full of holy modesty
and grace, excites; when offences are more felt, and rudeness is more suspected, and
agreement less common, which is not bound fast by love deeply rooted by time, or by beauty
in its prime of youth. Duty to a husband is burdensome, so that you are afraid to love
your children and blush to look at them; and a cause of disagreement arises from that
which ordinarily causes mutual love to increase the tender affections of parents. You wish
to give birth to offspring who will be not the brothers but the adversaries of your
children. For what is to bring forth other children other than to rob the children which
you have, who are deprived alike of the offices of affection and of the profit of their
possessions.
89. The divine law has bound together
husband and wife by its authority, and yet mutual love remains a difficult matter. For God
took a rib from the man, and formed the woman so as to join them one to the other, and
said: "They shall be one flesh."(1) He said this not of a second marriage but of
the first, for neither did Eve take a second husband, nor does holy Church recognize a
second bridegroom. "For that is a great mystery in Christ and in the Church.(2)
Neither, again, did Isaac know another wife besides Rebecca,(3) nor bury his father,
Abraham, with any wife but Sarah."(1)
90. But in holy Rachel(2) there was rather
the figure of a mystery than a true order of marriage. Notwithstanding, in her, also, we
have something which we can refer to the grace of the first marriage, since he loved her
best whom he had first betrothed, and deceit did not shut out his intention, nor the
intervening marriage destroy his love for his betrothed. And so the holy patriarch has
taught us, how highly we ought to esteem a first marriage, since he himself esteemed his
first betrothal so highly. Take care, then, my daughter, lest you be both unable to hold
fast the grace of marriage, and also increase your own troubles.
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