SAINT AUGUSTINE
CONFESSIONS: BOOK ELEVEN
TABLE OF CONTENTS
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AUGUSTINE BREAKS OFF THE HISTORY OF THE MODE
WHEREBY GOD LED HIM TO HOLY ORDERS, IN ORDER TO "CONFESS" GOD'S
MERCIES IN OPENING TO HIM THE SCRIPTURE. MOSES IS NOT TO BE UNDERSTOOD, BUT IN
CHRIST, NOT EVEN THE FIRST WORDS IN THE BEGINNING GOD CREATED THE HEAVEN AND
THE EARTH. ANSWER TO CAVILLERS WHO ASKED, "WHAT DID GOD BEFORE HE CREATED
THE HEAVEN AND THE EARTH, AND WHENCE WILLED HE AT LENGTH TO MAKE THEM, WHEREAS
HE DID NOT MAKE THEM BEFORE?" INQUIRY INTO THE NATURE OF TIME.
LORD, since eternity is Thine, art
Thou ignorant of what I say to Thee? or dost Thou see in time, what passeth in
time? Why then do I lay in order before Thee so many relations? Not, of a
truth, that Thou mightest learn them through me, but to stir up mine own and
my readers' devotions towards Thee, that we may all say, Great is the Lord,
and greatly to be praised. I have said already; and again will say, for love
of Thy love do I this. For we pray also, and yet Truth hath said, Your Father
knoweth what you have need of, before you ask. It is then our affections which
we lay open unto Thee, confessing our own miseries, and Thy mercies upon us,
that Thou mayest free us wholly, since Thou hast begun, that we may cease to
be wretched in ourselves, and be blessed in Thee; seeing Thou hast called us,
to become poor in spirit, and meek, and mourners, and hungering and athirst
after righteousness, and merciful, and pure in heart, and peace-makers. See, I
have told Thee many things, as I could and as I would, because Thou first
wouldest that I should confess unto Thee, my Lord God. For Thou art good, for
Thy mercy endureth for ever.
2 But how shall I suffice with the tongue of my pen to utter all Thy
exhortations, and all Thy terrors, and comforts, and guidances, whereby Thou
broughtest me to preach Thy Word, and dispense Thy Sacrament to Thy people?
And if I suffice to utter them in order, the drops of time are precious with
me; and long have I burned to meditate in Thy law, and therein to confess to
Thee my skill and unskilfulness, the day-break of Thy enlightening, and the
remnants of my darkness, until infirmity be swallowed up by strength. And I
would not have aught besides steal away those hours which I find free from the
necessities of refreshing my body and the powers of my mind, and of the
service which we owe to men, or which though we owe not, we yet pay.
O Lord my God, give ear unto my prayer, and let Thy mercy hearken unto my
desire: because it is anxious not for myself alone, but would serve brotherly
charity; and Thou seest my heart, that so it is. I would sacrifice to Thee the
service of my thought and tongue; do Thou give me, what I may offer Thee. For
I am poor and needy, Thou rich to all that call upon Thee; Who, inaccessible
to care, carest for us. Circumcise from all rashness and all lying both my
inward and outward lips: let Thy Scriptures be my pure delights: let me not be
deceived in them, nor deceive out of them. Lord, hearken and pity, O Lord my
God, Light of the blind, and Strength of the weak; yea also Light of those
that see, and Strength of the strong; hearken unto my soul, and hear it crying
out of the depths. For if thine ears be not with us in the depths also,
whither shall we go? whither cry? The day is Thine, and the night is Thine; at
Thy beck the moments flee by. Grant thereof a space for our meditations in the
hidden things of Thy law, and close it not against us who knock. For not in
vain wouldest Thou have the darksome secrets of so many pages written; nor are
those forests without their harts which retire therein and range and walk;
feed, lie down, and ruminate. Perfect me, O Lord, and reveal them unto me.
Behold, Thy voice is my joy; Thy voice exceedeth the abundance of pleasures.
Give what I love: for I do love; and this hast Thou given: forsake not Thy own
gifts, nor despise Thy green herb that thirsteth. Let me confess unto Thee
whatsoever I shall find in Thy books, and hear the voice of praise, and drink
in Thee, and meditate on the wonderful things out of Thy law; even from the
beginning, wherein Thou madest the heaven and the earth, unto the everlasting
reigning of Thy holy city with Thee.
3 Lord, have mercy on me, and hear my desire. For it is not, I deem, of the
earth, not of gold and silver, and precious stones, or gorgeous apparel, or
honours and offices, or the pleasures of the flesh, or necessaries for the
body and for this life of our pilgrimage: all which shall be added unto those
that seek Thy kingdom and Thy righteousness. Behold, O Lord my God, wherein is
my desire. The wicked have told me of delights, but not such as Thy law, O
Lord. Behold, wherein is my desire. Behold, Father, behold, and see and
approve; and be it pleasing in the sight of Thy mercy, that I may find grace
before Thee, that the inward parts of Thy words be opened to me knocking. I
beseech by our Lord Jesus Christ Thy Son, the Man of Thy right hand, the Son
of man, whom Thou hast established for Thyself, as Thy Mediator and ours,
through Whom Thou soughtest us, not seeking Thee, but soughtest us, that we
might seek Thee,--Thy Word, through Whom Thou madest all things, and among
them, me also;--Thy Only-Begotten, through Whom Thou calledst to adoption the
believing people, and therein me also;--I beseech Thee by Him, who sitteth at
Thy right hand, and intercedeth with Thee for us, in Whom are hidden all the
treasures of wisdom and knowledge. These do I seek in Thy books. Of Him did
Moses write; this saith Himself; this saith the Truth.
4 I would hear and understand, how "In the Beginning Thou madest the heaven
and earth." Moses wrote this, wrote and departed, passed hence from Thee
to Thee; nor is he now before me. For if he were, I would hold him and ask
him, and beseech him by Thee to open these things unto me, and would lay the
ears of my body to the sounds bursting out of his mouth. And should he speak
Hebrew, in vain will it strike on my senses, nor would aught of it touch my
mind; but if Latin, I should know what he said. But whence should I know,
whether he spake truth? Yea, and if I knew this also, should I know it from
him? Truly within me, within, in the chamber of my thoughts, Truth, neither
Hebrew, nor Greek, nor Latin, nor barbarian, without organs of voice or
tongue, or sound of syllables, would say, "It is truth," and I
forthwith should say confidently to that man of Thine, "thou sayest
truly." Whereas then I cannot enquire of him, Thee, Thee I beseech, O
Truth, full of Whom he spake truth, Thee, my God, I beseech, forgive my sins;
and Thou, who gavest him Thy servant to speak these things, give to me also to
understand them.
5 Behold, the heavens and the earth are; they proclaim that they were created;
for they change and vary. Whereas whatsoever hath not been made, and yet is,
hath nothing in it, which before it had not; and this it is, to change and
vary. They proclaim also, that they made not themselves; "therefore we
are, because we have been made; we were not therefore, before we were, so as
to make ourselves." Now the evidence of the thing, is the voice of the
speakers. Thou therefore, Lord, madest them; who art beautiful, for they are
beautiful; who art good, for they are good; who art, for they are; yet are
they not beautiful nor good, nor are they, as Thou their Creator art; compared
with Whom, they are neither beautiful, nor good, nor are. This we know, thanks
be to Thee. And our knowledge, compared with Thy knowledge, is ignorance.
6 But how didst Thou make the heaven and the earth? and what the engine of Thy
so mighty fabric? For it was not as a human artificer, forming one body from
another, according to the discretion of his mind, which can in some way invest
with such a form, as it seeth in itself by its inward eye. And whence should
he be able to do this, unless Thou hadst made that mind? and he invests with a
form what already existeth, and hath a being, as clay, or stone, or wood, or
gold, or the like. And whence should they be, hadst not Thou appointed them?
Thou madest the artificer his body, Thou the mind commanding the limbs, Thou
the matter whereof he makes any thing; Thou the apprehension whereby to take
in his art, and see within what he doth without; Thou the sense of his body,
whereby, as by an interpreter, he may from mind to matter, convey that which
he doth, and report to his mind what is done; that it within may consult the
truth, which presideth over itself, whether it be well done or no. All these
praise Thee, the Creator of all. But how dost Thou make them? how, O God,
didst Thou make heaven and earth? Verily, neither in the heaven, nor in the
earth, didst Thou make heaven and earth; nor in the air, or waters, seeing
these also belong to the heaven and the earth; nor in the whole world didst
Thou make the whole world; because there was no place where to make it, before
it was made, that it might be. Nor didst Thou hold any thing in Thy hand,
whereof to make heaven and earth. For whence shouldest Thou have this, which
Thou hadst not made, thereof to make any thing? For what is, but because Thou
art? Therefore Thou spakest, and they were made, and in Thy Word Thou madest
them.
7 But how didst Thou speak? In the way that the voice came out of the cloud,
saying, This is my beloved Son? For that voice passed by and passed away,
began and ended; the syllables sounded and passed away, the second after the
first, the third after the second, and so forth in order, until the last after
the rest, and silence after the last. Whence it is abundantly clear and plain
that the motion of a creature expressed it, itself temporal, serving Thy
eternal will. And these Thy words, created for a time, the outward ear
reported to the intelligent soul, whose inward ear lay listening to Thy
Eternal Word. But she compared these words sounding in time, with that Thy
Eternal Word in silence, and said "It is different, far different. These
words are far beneath me, nor are they, because they flee and pass away; but
the Word of my Lord abideth above me for ever." If then in sounding and
passing words Thou saidst that heaven and earth should be made, and so madest
heaven and earth, there was a corporeal creature before heaven and earth, by
whose motions in time that voice might take his course in time. But there was
nought corporeal before heaven and earth; or if there were, surely thou hadst,
without such a passing voice, created that, whereof to make this passing
voice, by which to say, Let the heaven and the earth be made. For whatsoever
that were, whereof such a voice were made, unless by Thee it were made, it
could not be at all. By what Word then didst Thou speak, that a body might be
made, whereby these words again might be made?
Thou callest us then to understand the Word, God, with Thee God, Which is
spoken eternally, and by It are all things spoken eternally. For what was
spoken was not spoken successively, one thing concluded that the next might be
spoken, but all things together and eternally. Else have we time and change;
and not a true eternity nor true immortality. This I know, O my God, and give
thanks. I know, I confess to Thee, O Lord, and with me there knows and blesses
Thee, whoso is not unthankful to assured Truth. We know, Lord, we know; since
inasmuch as any thing is not which was, and is, which was not, so far forth it
dieth and ariseth. Nothing then of Thy Word doth give place or replace,
because It is truly immortal and eternal. And therefore unto the Word
coeternal with Thee Thou dost at once and eternally say all that Thou dost
say; and whatever Thou sayest shall be made is made; nor dost Thou make,
otherwise than by saying; and yet are not all things made together, or
everlasting, which Thou makest by saying.
8 Why, I beseech Thee, O Lord my God? I see it in a way; but how to express it,
I know not, unless it be, that whatsoever begins to be, and leaves off to be,
begins then, and leaves off then, when in Thy eternal Reason it is known, that
it ought to begin or leave off; in which Reason nothing beginneth or leaveth
off. This is Thy Word, which is also "the Beginning, because also It
speaketh unto us." Thus in the Gospel He speaketh through the flesh; and
this sounded outwardly in the ears of men; that it might be believed and
sought inwardly, and found in the eternal Verity; where the good and only
Master teacheth all His disciples. There, Lord, hear I Thy voice speaking unto
me; because He speaketh unto us, who teacheth us; but He that teacheth us not,
though He speaketh, to us He speaketh not. Who now teacheth us, but the
unchangeable Truth? for even when we are admonished through a changeable
creature; we are but led to the unchangeable Truth; where we learn truly,
while we stand and hear Him, and rejoice greatly because of the Bridegroom's
voice, restoring us to Him, from Whom we are. And therefore the Beginning,
because unless It abided, there should not, when we went astray, be whither to
return. But when we return from error, it is through knowing; and that we may
know, He teacheth us, because He is the Beginning, and speaking unto us.
9 In this Beginning, O God, hast Thou made heaven and earth, in Thy Word, in Thy
Son, in Thy Power, in Thy Wisdom, in Thy Truth; wondrously speaking, and
wondrously making. Who shall comprehend? Who declare it? What is that which
gleams through me, and strikes my heart without hurting it; and I shudder and
kindle? I shudder, inasmuch as I am unlike it; I kindle, inasmuch as I am like
it. It is Wisdom, Wisdom's self which gleameth through me; severing my
cloudiness which yet again mantles over me, fainting from it, through the
darkness which for my punishment gathers upon me. For my strength is brought
down in need, so that I cannot support my blessings, till Thou, Lord, Who hast
been gracious to all mine iniquities, shalt heal all my infirmities. For Thou
shalt also redeem my life from corruption, and crown me with loving kindness
and tender mercies, and shalt satisfy my desire with good things, because my
youth shall be renewed like an eagle's. For in hope we are saved, wherefore we
through patience wait for Thy promises. Let him that is able, Hear Thee
inwardly discoursing out of Thy oracle: I will boldly cry out, How wonderful
are Thy works, O Lord, in Wisdom hast Thou made them all; and this Wisdom is
the Beginning, and in that Beginning didst Thou make heaven and earth.
10 Lo, are they not full of their old leaven, who say to us, "What was God
doing before He made heaven and earth? For if (say they) He were unemployed
and wrought not, why does He not also henceforth, and for ever, as He did
heretofore? For did any new motion arise in God, and a new will to make a
creature, which He had never before made, how then would that be a true
eternity, where there ariseth a will, which was not? For the will of God is
not a creature, but before the creature; seeing nothing could be created,
unless the will of the Creator had preceded. The will of God then belongeth to
His very Substance. And if aught have arisen in God's Substance, which before
was not, that Substance cannot be truly called eternal. But if the will of God
has been from eternity that the creature should be, why was not the creature
also from eternity?"
11 Who speak thus, do not yet understand Thee, O Wisdom of God, Light of souls,
understand not yet how the things be made, which by Thee, and in Thee are
made: yet they strive to comprehend things eternal, whilst their heart
fluttereth between the motions of things past and to come, and is still
unstable. Who shall hold it, and fix it, that it be settled awhile, and awhile
catch the glory of that ever-fixed Eternity, and compare it with the times
which are never fixed, and see that it cannot be compared; and that a long
time cannot become long, but out of many motions passing by, which cannot be
prolonged altogether; but that in the Eternal nothing passeth, but the whole
is present; whereas no time is all at once present: and that all time past, is
driven on by time to come, and all to come followeth upon the past; and all
past and to come, is created, and flows out of that which is ever present? Who
shall hold the heart of man, that it may stand still, and see how eternity
ever still-standing, neither past nor to come, uttereth the times past and to
come? Can my hand do this, or the hand of my mouth by speech bring about a
thing so great?
12 See, I answer him that asketh, "What did God before He made heaven and
earth?" I answer not as one is said to have done merrily, (eluding the
pressure of the question,) "He was preparing hell (saith he) for pryers
into mysteries." It is one thing to answer enquiries, another to make
sport of enquirers. So I answer not; for rather had I answer, "I know
not," what I know not, than so as to raise a laugh at him who asketh deep
things and gain praise for one who answereth false things. But I say that
Thou, our God, art the Creator of every creature: and if by the name
"heaven and earth," every creature be understood; I boldly say,
"that before God made heaven and earth, He did not make any thing."
For if He made, what did He make but a creature? And would I knew whatsoever I
desire to know to my profit, as I know, that no creature was made, before
there was made any creature.
13 But if any excursive brain rove over the images of forepassed times, and
wonder that Thou the God Almighty and All-creating and All-supporting, Maker
of heaven and earth, didst for innumerable ages forbear from so great a work,
before Thou wouldest make it; let him awake and consider, that he wonders at
false conceits. For whence could innumerable ages pass by, which Thou madest
not, Thou the Author and Creator of all ages? or what times should there be,
which were not made by Thee? or how should they pass by, if they never were?
Seeing then Thou art the Creator of all times, if any time was before Thou
madest heaven and earth, why say they that Thou didst forego working? For that
very time didst Thou make, nor could times pass by, before Thou madest those
times. But if before heaven and earth there was no time, why is it demanded,
what Thou then didst? For there was no "then," when there was no
time.
Nor dost Thou by time, precede time: else shouldest Thou not precede all
times. But Thou precedest all things past, by the sublimity of an ever-present
eternity; and surpassest all future because they are future, and when they
come, they shall be past; but Thou art the Same, and Thy years fail not. Thy
years neither come nor go; whereas ours both come and go, that they all may
come. Thy years stand together, because they do stand; nor are departing
thrust out by coming years, for they pass not away; but ours shall all be,
when they shall no more be. Thy years are one day; and Thy day is not daily,
but To-day, seeing Thy To-day gives not place unto to-morrow, for neither doth
it replace yesterday. Thy To-day, is Eternity; therefore didst Thou beget The
Coeternal, to whom Thou saidst, This day have I begotten Thee. Thou hast made
all things; and before all times Thou art: neither in any time was time not.
15 At no time then hadst Thou not made any thing, because time itself Thou madest.
And no times are coeternal with Thee, because Thou abidest; but if they abode,
they should not be times. For what is time? Who can readily and briefly
explain this? Who can even in thought comprehend it, so as to utter a word
about it? But what in discourse do we mention more familiarly and knowingly,
than time? And, we understand, when we speak of it; we understand also, when
we hear it spoken of by another. What then is time? If no one asks me, I know:
if I wish to explain it to one that asketh, I know not: yet I say boldly that
I know, that if nothing passed away, time past were not; and if nothing were
coming, a time to come were not; and if nothing were, time present were not.
Those two times then, past and to come, how are they, seeing the past now is
not, and that to come is not yet? But the present, should it always be
present, and never pass into time past, verily it should not be time, but
eternity. If time present (if it is to be time) only cometh into existence,
because it passeth into time past, how can we say that either this is, whose
cause of being is, that it shall not be; so, namely, that we cannot truly say
that time is, but because it is tending not to be?
And yet we say, "a long time" and "a short time"; still,
only of time past or to come. A long time past (for example) we call an
hundred years since; and a long time to come, an hundred years hence. But a
short time past, we call (suppose) ten days since; and a short time to come,
ten days hence. But in what sense is that long or short, which is not? For the
past, is not now; and the future, is not yet. Let us not then say, "it is
long"; but of the past, "it hath been long"; and of the future,
"it will be long." O my Lord, my Light, shall not here also Thy
Truth mock at man? For that past time which was long, was it long when it was
now past, or when it was yet present? For then might it be long, when there
was, what could be long; but when past, it was no longer; wherefore neither
could that be long, which was not at all. Let us not then say, "time past
hath been long": for we shall not find, what hath been long, seeing that
since it was past, it is no more; but let us say, "that present time was
long"; because, when it was present, it was long. For it had not yet
passed away, so as not to be; and therefore there was, what could be long; but
after it was past, that ceased also to be long, which ceased to be.
16 Let us see then, thou soul of man, whether present time can be long: for to
thee it is given to feel and to measure length of time. What wilt thou answer
me? Are an hundred years, when present, a long time? See first, whether an
hundred years can be present. For if the first of these years be now current,
it is present, but the other ninety and nine are to come, and therefore are
not yet, but if the second year be current, one is now past, another present,
the rest to come. And so if we assume any middle year of this hundred to be
present, all before it, are past; all after it, to come; wherefore an hundred
years cannot be present. But see at least whether that one which is now
current, itself is present; for if the current month be its first, the rest
are to come; if the second, the first is already past, and the rest are not
yet. Therefore, neither is the year now current present; and if not present as
a whole, then is not the year present. For twelve months are a year; of which
whatever be the current month is present; the rest past, or to come. Although
neither is that current month present; but one day only; the rest being to
come, if it be the first; past, if the last; if any of the middle, then amid
past and to come.
17 See how the present time, which alone we found could be called long, is
abridged to the length scarce of one day. But let us examine that also;
because neither is one day present as a whole. For it is made up of four and
twenty hours of night and day: of which, the first hath the rest to come; the
last hath them past; and any of the middle hath those before it past, those
behind it to come. Yea, that one hour passeth away in flying particles.
Whatsoever of it hath flown away, is past; whatsoever remaineth, is to come.
If an instant of time be conceived, which cannot be divided into the smallest
particles of moments, that alone is it, which may be called present. Which yet
flies with such speed from future to past, as not to be lengthened out with
the least stay. For if it be, it is divided into past and future. The present
hath no space. Where then is the time, which we may call long? Is it to come?
Of it we do not say, "it is long"; because it is not yet, so as to
be long; but we say, "it will be long." When therefore will it be?
For if even then, when it is yet to come, it shall not be long, (because what
can be long, as yet is not,) and so it shall then be long, when from future
which as yet is not, it shall begin now to be, and have become present, that
so there should exist what may be long; then does time present cry out in the
words above, that it cannot be long.
And yet, Lord, we perceive intervals of times, and compare them, and say, some
are shorter, and others longer. We measure also, how much longer or shorter
this time is than that; and we answer, "This is double, or treble; and
that, but once, or only just so much as that." But we measure times as
they are passing, by perceiving them; but past, which now are not, or the
future, which are not yet, who can measure? unless a man shall presume to say,
that can be measured, which is not. When then time is passing, it may be
perceived and measured; but when it is past, it cannot, because it is not.
18 I ask, Father, I affirm not: O my God, rule and guide me. "Who will tell
me that there are not three times, (as we learned when boys, and taught boys,)
past, present, and future; but present only, because those two are not? Or are
they also; and when from future it becometh present, doth it come out of some
secret place; and so, when retiring, from present it becometh past? For where
did they, who foretold things to come, see them, if as yet they be not? For
that which is not, cannot be seen. And they who relate things past, could not
relate them, if in mind they did not discern them, and if they were not, they
could no way be discerned. Things then past and to come, are."
19 Permit me, Lord, to seek further. O my hope, let not my purpose be confounded.
For if times past and to come be, I would know where they be. Which yet if I
cannot, yet I know, wherever they be, they are not there as future, or past,
but present. For if there also they be future, they are not yet there; if
there also they be past, they are no longer there. Wheresoever then is
whatsoever is, it is only as present. Although when past facts are related,
there are drawn out of the memory, not the things themselves which are past,
but words which, conceived by the images of the things, they, in passing, have
through the senses left as traces in the mind. Thus my childhood, which now is
not, is in time past, which now is not: but now when I recall its image, and
tell of it, I behold it in the present, because it is still in my memory.
Whether there be a like cause of foretelling things to come also; that of
things which as yet are not, the images may be perceived before, already
existing, I confess, O my God, I know not. This indeed I know, that we
generally think before on our future actions, and that that forethinking is
present, but the action whereof we forethink is not yet, because it is to
come. Which, when we have set upon, and have begun to do what we were
forethinking, then shall that action be; because then it is no longer future,
but present.
Which way soever then this secret fore-perceiving of things to come be; that
only can be seen, which is. But what now is, is not future, but present. When
then things to come are said to be seen, it is not themselves which as yet are
not, (that is, which are to be,) but their causes perchance or signs are seen,
which already are. Therefore they are not future but present to those who now
see that, from which the future, being fore-conceived in the mind, is
foretold. Which fore-conceptions again now are; and those who foretell those
things, do behold the conceptions present before them. Let now the numerous
variety of things furnish me some example. I behold the day-break, I foreshow,
that the sun is about to rise. What I behold, is present; what I foresignify,
to come; not the sun, which already is; but the sun-rising, which is not yet.
And yet did I not in my mind imagine the sun-rising itself, (as now while I
speak of it,) I could not foretell it. But neither is that daybreak which I
discern in the sky, the sun-rising, although it goes before it; nor that
imagination of my mind; which two are seen now present, that the other which
is to be may be foretold. Future things then are not yet: and if they be not
yet, they are not: and if they are not, they cannot be seen; yet foretold they
may be from things present, which are already, and are seen.
20 Thou then, Ruler of Thy creation, by what way dost Thou teach souls things to
come? For Thou didst teach Thy Prophets. By what way dost Thou, to whom
nothing is to come, teach things to come; or rather of the future, dost teach
things present? For, what is not, neither can it be taught. Too far is this
way out of my ken: it is too mighty for me, I cannot attain unto it; but from
Thee I can, when Thou shalt vouchsafe it, O sweet light of my hidden eyes.
What now is clear and plain is, that neither things to come nor past are. Nor
is it properly said, "there be three times, past, present, and to
come": yet perchance it might be properly said, "there be three
times; a present of things past, a present of things present, and a present of
things future." For these three do exist in some sort, in the soul, but
otherwhere do I not see them; present of things past, memory; present of
things present, sight; present of things future, expectation. If thus we be
permitted to speak, I see three times, and I confess there are three. Let it
be said too, "there be three times, past, present, and to come": in
our incorrect way. See, I object not, nor gainsay, nor find fault, if what is
so said be but understood, that neither what is to be, now is, nor what is
past. For but few things are there, which we speak properly, most things
improperly; still the things intended are understood.
21 I said then even now, we measure times as they pass, in order to be able to
say, this time is twice so much as that one; or, this is just so much as that;
and so of any other parts of time, which be measurable. Wherefore, as I said,
we measure times as they pass. And if any should ask me, "How knowest
thou?" I might answer, "I know, that we do measure, nor can we
measure things that are not; and things past and to come, are not." But
time present how do we measure, seeing it hath no space? It is measured while
passing, but when it shall have passed, it is not measured; for there will be
nothing to be measured. But whence, by what way, and whither passes it while
it is a measuring? whence, but from the future? Which way, but through the
present? whither, but into the past? From that therefore, which is not yet,
through that, which hath no space, into that, which now is not. Yet what do we
measure, if not time in some space? For we do not say, single, and double, and
triple, and equal, or any other like way that we speak of time, except of
spaces of times. In what space then do we measure time passing? In the future,
whence it passeth through? But what is not yet, we measure not. Or in the
present, by which it passes? but no space, we do not measure: or in the past,
to which it passes? But neither do we measure that, which now is not.
22 My soul is on fire to know this most intricate enigma. Shut it not up, O Lord
my God, good Father; through Christ I beseech Thee, do not shut up these
usual, yet hidden things, from my desire, that it be hindered from piercing
into them; but let them dawn through Thy enlightening mercy, O Lord. Whom
shall I enquire of concerning these things? and to whom shall I more
fruitfully confess my ignorance, than to Thee, to Whom these my studies, so
vehemently kindled toward Thy Scriptures, are not troublesome? Give what I
love; for I do love, and this hast Thou given me. Give, Father, Who truly
knowest to give good gifts unto Thy children. Give, because I have taken upon
me to know, and trouble is before me until Thou openest it. By Christ I
beseech Thee, in His Name, Holy of holies, let no man disturb me. For I
believed, and therefore do I speak. This is my hope, for this do I live, that
I may contemplate the delights of the Lord. Behold, Thou hast made my days
old, and they pass away, and how, I know not. And we talk of time, and time,
and times, and times, "How long time is it since he said this";
"how long time since he did this"; and "how long time since I
saw that"; and "this syllable hath double time to that single short
syllable." These words we speak, and these we hear, and are understood,
and understand. Most manifest and ordinary they are, and the self-same things
again are but too deeply hidden, and the discovery of them were new.
23 I heard once from a learned man, that the motions of the sun, moon, and stars,
constituted time, and I assented not. For why should not the motions of all
bodies rather be times? Or, if the lights of heaven should cease, and a
potter's wheel run round, should there be no time by which we might measure
those whirlings, and say, that either it moved with equal pauses, or if it
turned sometimes slower, otherwhiles quicker, that some rounds were longer,
other shorter? Or, while we were saying this, should we not also be speaking
in time? Or, should there in our words be some syllables short, others long,
but because those sounded in a shorter time, these in a longer? God, grant to
men to see in a small thing notices common to things great and small. The
stars and lights of heaven, are also for signs, and for seasons, and for
years, and for days; they are; yet neither should I say, that the going round
of that wooden wheel was a day, nor yet he, that it was therefore no time.
24 I desire to know the force and nature of time, by which we measure the motions
of bodies, and say (for example) this motion is twice as long as that. For I
ask, Seeing "day" denotes not the stay only of the sun upon the
earth, (according to which day is one thing, night another;) but also its
whole circuit from east to east again; according to which we say, "there
passed so many days," the night being included when we say, "so many
days," and the nights not reckoned apart;--seeing then a day is completed
by the motion of the sun and by his circuit from east to east again, I ask,
does the motion alone make the day, or the stay in which that motion is
completed, or both? For if the first be the day; then should we have a day,
although the sun should finish that course in so small a space of time, as one
hour comes to. If the second, then should not that make a day, if between one
sun-rise and another there were but so short a stay, as one hour comes to; but
the sun must go four and twenty times about, to complete one day. If both,
then neither could that be called a day, if the sun should run his whole round
in the space of one hour; nor that, if, while the sun stood still, so much
time should overpass, as the sun usually makes his whole course in, from
morning to morning. I will not therefore now ask, what that is which is called
day; but, what time is, whereby we, measuring the circuit of the sun, should
say that it was finished in half the time it was wont, if so be it was
finished in so small a space as twelve hours; and comparing both times, should
call this a single time, that a double time; even supposing the sun to run his
round from east to east, sometimes in that single, sometimes in that double
time. Let no man then tell me, that the motions of the heavenly bodies
constitute times, because, when at the prayer of one, the sun had stood still,
till he could achieve his victorious battle, the sun stood still, but time
went on. For in its own allotted space of time was that battle waged and
ended. I perceive time then to be a certain extension. But do I perceive it,
or seem to perceive it? Thou, Light and Truth, wilt show me.
Dost Thou bid me assent, if any define time to be "motion of a
body?" Thou dost not bid me. For that no body is moved, but in time, I
hear; this Thou sayest; but that the motion of a body is time, I hear not;
Thou sayest it not. For when a body is moved, I by time measure, how long it
moveth, from the time it began to move until it left off? And if I did not see
whence it began; and it continue to move so that I see not when it ends, I
cannot measure, save perchance from the time I began, until I cease to see.
And if I look long, I can only pronounce it to be a long time, but not how
long; because when we say "how long," we do it by comparison; as,
"this is as long as that," or "twice so long as that," or
the like. But when we can mark the distances of the places, whence and whither
goeth the body moved, or his parts, if it moved as in a lathe, then can we say
precisely, in how much time the motion of that body or his part, from this
place unto that, was finished. Seeing therefore the motion of a body is one
thing, that by which we measure how long it is, another; who sees not, which
of the two is rather to be called time? For and if a body be sometimes moved,
sometimes stands still, then we measure, not his motion only, but his standing
still too by time; and we say, "it stood still, as much as it
moved"; or "it stood still twice or thrice so long as it
moved"; or any other space which our measuring hath either ascertained,
or guessed; more or less, as we use to say. Time then is not the motion of a
body.
25 And I confess to Thee, O Lord, that I yet know not what time is, and again I
confess unto Thee, O Lord, that I know that I speak this in time, and that
having long spoken of time, that very "long" is not long, but by the
pause of time. How then know I this, seeing I know not what time is? or is it
perchance that I know not how to express what I know? Woe is me, that do not
even know, what I know not. Behold, O my God, before Thee I lie not; but as I
speak, so is my heart. Thou shalt light my candle; Thou, O Lord my God, wilt
enlighten my darkness.
26 Does not my soul most truly confess unto Thee, that I do measure times? Do I
then measure, O my God, and know not what I measure? I measure the motion of a
body in time; and the time itself do I not measure? Or could I indeed measure
the motion of a body how long it were, and in how long space it could come
from this place to that, without measuring the time in which it is moved? This
same time then, how do I measure? do we by a shorter time measure a longer, as
by the space of a cubit, the space of a rood? for so indeed we seem by the
space of a short syllable, to measure the space of a long syllable, and to say
that this is double the other. Thus measure we the spaces of stanzas, by the
spaces of the verses, and the spaces of the verses, by the spaces of the feet,
and the spaces of the feet, by the spaces of the syllables, and the spaces of
long, by the space of short syllables; not measuring by pages, (for then we
measure spaces, not times;) but when we utter the words and they pass by, and
we say "it is a long stanza, because composed of so many verses; long
verses, because consisting of so many feet; long feet, because prolonged by so
many syllables; a long syllable because double to a short one." But
neither do we this way obtain any certain measure of time; because it may be,
that a shorter verse, pronounced more fully, may take up more time than a
longer, pronounced hurriedly. And so for a verse, a foot, a syllable. Whence
it seemed to me, that time is nothing else than protraction; but of what, I
know not; and I marvel, if it be not of the mind itself? For what I beseech
Thee, O my God, do I measure, when I say, either indefinitely "this is a
longer time than that," or definitely "this is double that?"
That I measure time, I know; and yet I measure not time to come, for it is not
yet; nor present, because it is not protracted by any space; nor past, because
it now is not. What then do I measure? Times passing, not past? for so I said.
Courage, my mind, and press on mightily. God is our helper, He made us, and
not we ourselves. Press on where truth begins to dawn. Suppose, now, the voice
of a body begins to sound, and does sound, and sounds on, and list, it ceases;
it is silence now, and that voice is past, and is no more a voice. Before it
sounded, it was to come, and could not be measured, because as yet it was not,
and now it cannot, because it is no longer. Then therefore while it sounded,
it might; because there then was what might be measured. But yet even then it
was not at a stay; for it was passing on, and passing away. Could it be
measured the rather, for that? For while passing, it was being extended into
some space of time, so that it might be measured, since the present hath no
space. If therefore then it might, then, lo, suppose another voice hath begun
to sound, and still soundeth in one continued tenor without any interruption;
let us measure it while it sounds; seeing when it hath left sounding, it will
then be past, and nothing left to be measured; let us measure it verily, and
tell how much it is. But it sounds still, nor can it be measured but from the
instant it began in, unto the end it left in. For the very space between is
the thing we measure, namely, from some beginning unto some end. Wherefore, a
voice that is not yet ended, cannot be measured, so that it may be said how
long, or short it is; nor can it be called equal to another, or double to a
single, or the like. But when ended, it no longer is. How may it then be
measured? And yet we measure times; but yet neither those which are not yet,
nor those which no longer are, nor those which are not lengthened out by some
pause, nor those which have no bounds. We measure neither times to come, nor
past, nor present, nor passing; and yet we do measure times.
27 "Deus Creator omnium," this verse of eight syllables alternates
between short and long syllables. The four short then, the first, third,
fifth, and seventh, are but single, in respect of the four long, the second,
fourth, sixth, and eighth. Every one of these to every one of those, hath a
double time: I pronounce them, report on them, and find it so, as one's plain
sense perceives. By plain sense then, I measure a long syllable by a short,
and I sensibly find it to have twice so much; but when one sounds after the
other, if the former be short, the latter long, how shall I detain the short
one, and how, measuring, shall I apply it to the long, that I may find this to
have twice so much; seeing the long does not begin to sound, unless the short
leaves sounding? And that very long one do I measure as present, seeing I
measure it not till it be ended? Now his ending is his passing away. What then
is it I measure? where is the short syllable by which I measure? where the
long which I measure? Both have sounded, have flown, passed away, are no more;
and yet I measure, and confidently answer (so far as is presumed on a
practised sense) that as to space of time this syllable is but single, that
double. And yet I could not do this, unless they were already past and ended.
It is not then themselves, which now are not, that I measure, but something in
my memory, which there remains fixed.
28 It is in thee, my mind, that I measure times. Interrupt me not, that is,
interrupt not thyself with the tumults of thy impressions. In thee I measure
times; the impression, which things as they pass by cause in thee, remains
even when they are gone; this it is which still present, I measure, not the
things which pass by to make this impression. This I measure, when I measure
times. Either then this is time, or I do not measure times. What when we
measure silence, and say that this silence hath held as long time as did that
voice? do we not stretch out our thought to the measure of a voice, as if it
sounded, that so we may be able to report of the intervals of silence in a
given space of time? For though both voice and tongue be still, yet in thought
we go over poems, and verses, and any other discourse, or dimensions of
motions, and report as to the spaces of times, how much this is in respect of
that, no otherwise than if vocally we did pronounce them. If a man would utter
a lengthened sound, and had settled in thought how long it should be, he hath
in silence already gone through a space of time, and committing it to memory,
begins to utter that speech, which sounds on, until it be brought unto the end
proposed. Yea it hath sounded, and will sound; for so much of it as is
finished, hath sounded already, and the rest will sound. And thus passeth it
on, until the present intent conveys over the future into the past; the past
increasing by the diminution of the future, until by the consumption of the
future, all is past.
29 But how is that future diminished or consumed, which as yet is not? or how
that past increased, which is now no longer, save that in the mind which
enacteth this, there be three things done? For it expects, it considers, it
remembers; that so that which it expecteth, through that which it considereth,
passeth into that which it remembereth. Who therefore denieth, that things to
come are not as yet? and yet, there is in the mind an expectation of things to
come. And who denies past things to be now no longer? and yet is there still
in the mind a memory of things past. And who denieth the present time hath no
space, because it passeth away in a moment? and yet our consideration
continueth, through which that which shall be present proceedeth to become
absent. It is not then future time, that is long, for as yet it is not: but a
long future, is "a long expectation of the future," nor is it time
past, which now is not, that is long; but a long past, is "a long memory
of the past."
30 I am about to repeat a Psalm that I know. Before I begin, my expectation is
extended over the whole; but when I have begun, how much soever of it I shall
separate off into the past, is extended along my memory; thus the life of this
action of mine is divided between my memory as to what I have repeated, and
expectation as to what I am about to repeat; but "consideration" is
present with me, that through it what was future, may be conveyed over, so as
to become past. Which the more it is done again and again, so much the more
the expectation being shortened, is the memory enlarged: till the whole
expectation be at length exhausted, when that whole action being ended, shall
have passed into memory. And this which takes place in the whole Psalm, the
same takes place in each several portion of it, and each several syllable; the
same holds in that longer action, whereof this Psalm may be a part; the same
holds in the whole life of man, whereof all the actions of man are parts; the
same holds through the whole age of the sons of men, whereof all the lives of
men are parts.
31 But because Thy loving kindness is better than all lives, behold, my life is
but a distraction, and Thy right hand upheld me, in my Lord the Son of man,
the Mediator betwixt Thee, The One, and us many, many also through our
manifold distractions amid many things, that by Him I may apprehend in Whom I
have been apprehended, and may be re-collected from my old conversation, to
follow The One, forgetting what is behind, and not distended but extended, not
to things which shall be and shall pass away, but to those things which are
before, not distractedly but intently, I follow on for the prize of my
heavenly calling, where I may hear the voice of Thy praise, and contemplate
Thy delights, neither to come, nor to pass away. But now are my years spent in
mourning. And Thou, O Lord, art my comfort, my Father everlasting, but I have
been severed amid times, whose order I know not; and my thoughts, even the
inmost bowels of my soul, are rent and mangled with tumultuous varieties,
until I flow together into Thee, purified and molten by the fire of Thy love.
32 And now will I stand, and become firm in Thee, in my mould, Thy truth; nor
will I endure the questions of men, who by a penal disease thirst for more
than they can contain, and say, "what did God before He made heaven and
earth?" "Or, how came it into His mind to make any thing, having
never before made any thing?" Give them, O Lord, well to bethink
themselves what they say, and to find, that "never" cannot be
predicated, when "time" is not. This then that He is said
"never to have made"; what else is it to say, than "in 'no
time' to have made?" Let them see therefore, that time cannot be without
created being, and cease to speak that vanity. May they also be extended
towards those things which are before; and understand Thee before all times,
the eternal Creator of all times, and that no times be coeternal with Thee,
nor any creature, even if there be any creature before all times.
33 O Lord my God, what a depth is that recess of Thy mysteries, and how far from
it have the consequences of my transgressions cast me! Heal mine eyes, that I
may share the joy of Thy light. Certainly, if there be a mind gifted with such
vast knowledge and foreknowledge, as to know all things past and to come, as I
know one well-known Psalm, truly that mind is passing wonderful, and fearfully
amazing; in that nothing past, nothing to come in after-ages, is any more
hidden from him, than when I sung that Psalm, was hidden from me what, and how
much of it had passed away from the beginning, what, and how much there
remained unto the end. But far be it that Thou the Creator of the Universe,
the Creator of souls and bodies, far be it, that Thou shouldest in such wise
know all things past and to come. Far, far more wonderfully, and far more
mysteriously, dost thou know them. For not, as the feelings of one who singeth
what he knoweth, or heareth some well-known song, are through expectation of
the words to come, and the remembering of those that are past, varied, and his
senses divided,--not so doth any thing happen unto Thee, unchangeably eternal,
that is, the eternal Creator of minds. Like then as Thou in the Beginning
knewest the heaven and the earth, without any variety of Thy knowledge, so
madest Thou in the Beginning heaven and earth, without any distraction of Thy
action. Whoso understandeth, let him confess unto Thee; and whoso
understandeth not, let him confess unto Thee. Oh how high art Thou, and yet
the humble in heart are Thy dwelling-place; for Thou raisest up those that are
bowed down, and they fall not, whose elevation Thou art.
BOOK Twelve
TABLE OF CONTENTS
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